U.S. softball coach teaches deeper lesson

By JEFF METCALFE

The Arizona Republic

ATHENS, Greece - As Mike Candrea began to speak, his U.S. Olympic team fell silent.

The softball players hang on their coach's every word as, just days after what would have been his 28th wedding anniversary, Candrea publicly analyzes life without his wife. Sue Candrea died suddenly last month from a brain aneurysm. She had been traveling with her husband and his team.

Star pitcher Jennie Finch is unable to turn away from Candrea, who has coached her since she was 18. Others look down or fight off tears. Candrea knows that they are only as strong as he is.

``I tell young kids that you might have had a bad practice today, but life is still good,'' said Candrea, who led the University of Arizona to six national championships and whose Olympic team is the gold-medal favorite. ``And you never know from one minute to the next what's going to happen.

``This was a bolt of lightning out of the sky for me. One day Sue's on a treadmill running and that morning she took a walk, and the next thing she's gone from me. I just want them to understand how precious every moment is, whether it's with their friends or on the field."

Some players are uncomfortable for Candrea and try to steer the questioning to softball. He appreciates the help but doesn't need it.

``Talking about it kind of helps me,'' said Candrea, who turns 49, Sue's age at her death, on Aug. 29. ``I love this game. She loved this game and she would have kicked my butt if I would have done anything different (besides coach at the Olympics). I'm going to use her strength and turn it into a positive. That's all I can do.''

Candrea said his mind is clearest on the field. The clouds roll in later, when he's alone and has time to think.

``You don't even know what's happened to him in his personal life,'' said Leah O'Brien-Amico, who also played for Candrea at the University of Arizona and whose grandmother died three weeks before Sue Candrea. ``You don't see that on the field. All you see is the coach that is successful and motivates his athletes to be their very best.

``He's been as strong as I could ever imagine. Really he's surprised me. I think his strength makes me melt a little bit, because I want to hurt for him; I want to take that from him.''

The United States, the sole gold medalist in softball's brief Olympic history, faces a rugged nine-game run to a possible third title. Australia, Japan and China all beat the Americans in 2000 but ultimately could not dethrone them. The Americans beat Japan 3-0 on Monday and Australia 10-0 on Sunday. They play the Chinese team Tuesday.

There will be little time to grieve until after the gold-medal game on Aug. 23. And if the Americans don't get that far, there is only more grief to bear.

Candrea is intent on not becoming a distraction for his players, who sacrificed personal time after six months of pre-Olympic touring to travel to Arizona for the funeral.

``That was their rest time, their 10 days off to get away from the game and enjoy it, and instead they were at my side helping me get through something,'' he said.

``I really felt good when I arrived in Athens and saw them for the first time. ... It has given us something to group around and focus on. They're a phenomenal group of athletes but more importantly a phenomenal group of people, and I appreciate that.''